


Beary long legs

by PeturbingPrism



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bad Puns, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Comedy, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pining, Puns & Word Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:00:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeturbingPrism/pseuds/PeturbingPrism
Summary: Crowley buys Aziraphale the Joyfal Giant Teddy Bear with the Long Legs. Aziraphale does not appreciate it.https://www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/bradesposito/people-are-losing-it-over-this-giant-teddy-bear-that-jus
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 19





	Beary long legs

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a very stupid conversation I had online about Crowley buying Aziraphale the teddy bear with the horrible long legs.
> 
> Also a little "break" from my main work.
> 
> https://www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/bradesposito/people-are-losing-it-over-this-giant-teddy-bear-that-jus

Crowley buys Aziraphale the Joyfal Giant Teddy Bear with the Long Legs. Aziraphale does not appreciate it. 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/bradesposito/people-are-losing-it-over-this-gia

When Aziraphale called him in a panic one day, Crowley immediately miracled himself over. 

“What is it, Angel? I was sleeping, “ Crowley yawned. As if making a point, his clothes switched from silk pyjamas to skin tight jeans and tailored jacket as he stepped into the shop. 

“Crowley, is this your doing?” Aziraphale asked, clearly discombobulated.

“Is what my what?”

“This!” Aziraphale pointed at his couch.

On it was sat a six foot teddy bear, of which approximately two thirds were long, thin legs. It looked at Crowley, with a lopsided, beatific grin on its face. 

Crowley smiled. “Oh yeah, it’s one of mine! Happy Valentine's day.”

“Dear, it’s April!”

“...must have got stuck in customs, “said Crowley, sheepishly

“So you mean to tell me that I bought this...monstrosity into my shop, under the illusion that it was a shipment of books, and it's one of your  _ demonic works _ ?"

" _ Demonic works _ ! It's a teddy bear!"

"It's an eldritch abomination made more of leg that bear!" 

"I thought you liked bears?" 

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. "I will admit that yes, I do enjoy the odd  _ Teddy's bear _ . Wonderful imaginations, humans, turning such fierce creatures into guardians for their loved ones, but this…" He waved his hand at the bear again, "Is not that. This is an insult to the memory of Mr Steiff. This...thing...is an abomination!"

Crowley and Aziraphale looked at each other a moment, before Crowley, suddenly grinning, walked over to the toy on the sofa, and picking it up to make it talk said, "Aziraphale, why are you being so grizzly?"

"Dear, I do not hate the bear. But it's legs are way too long and it makes me very... uncomfortable."

"My legs too long? That's im-paw-sable!" Crowley wiggled the paws in time with his words.

"Stop that!"

"Am I un-bear-able, Angel? I think my jokes are Koala-ty, you're un-bear-livable! I'm bear-reeved by your bar-bear-rous bear-havior!"

"Crowley, please, it's an abomination! I don't want it in the shop! Take it away!"

Crowley picked the bear up, and making it dance, walked it over to Aziraphale, "Don't you want to be my bear-loved?" Its unnaturally long legs swayed as he carried it over.

"You are being very tedious, dear."

"Teddy-ous, you mean."

"Crowley, please, remove that awful thing right now...is that a tartan bow around its neck?"

"...Yes?" Said Crowley, a note of hope in his voice.

Aziraphale's face softened for a moment, before he turned around and said, "No, no, take it away."

"Are you sure?" Said Crowley, "Don't you want a bear-hug?" He half-threw, half-shoved the bear on Aziraphale, who almost fell over.

Aziraphale grabbed the bear, and with a click of his fingers it disappeared. "You are a fowl fiend, Crowley!" Then, straightening his waistcoat, he said, "Now, where would you like to go for lunch?"

Crowley smiled. "I think I will de-fur to you."

* * *

Eight hours and four bottles of wine later, Crowley stumbled into his Mayfair flat. He was intending to miracle the alcohol out of himself, but right now he enjoyed the giddy thrill of intoxication.

As he lurched into his bedroom, he tripped over a pair of long, plush legs. 

He looked over and saw the bear, with an idiotic grin on its face, lying accross the floor. 

Crowley laughed, and picked it up by its armpits. He chucked it on the bed, its long legs dragging on the floor. 

He sat down on the bed next to it, and with a flick of his wrist, he was suddenly wearing his pyjamas again. He put his arms around it, and noticed that it smelled like Aziraphale; that disparate mix of old books, ozone, violets and sandalwood, all blended together in an astonishing harmony. 

He curled up, bear in his arms, suddenly feeling very peaceful. For a moment, in his booze-addled mind, he could have been holding his angel. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, please comment! It's not edited/beta'd, so please let me know if I've made any spelling/grammar errors.


End file.
